Assalamualaikum, aliaa sangat2 la busy sem 2 nie,mmg tido pun x cukup,tulis blog pun xde masa dh bt masa sekarang..sob3~tapi baru2 ni aliaa ditag untuk join competition ni,
walaupun dlm2 bz,
bagi aliaa,bila sebut je perkataan cinta..tetiba rasa cm sedih n sayu plak...kekadang cinta ni membahagiakan,kekadang ada juga cinta yg menyeksakan,perasaan cinta ni membawa harapan kepada kita,perasaan cinta ni kadang2 menyedihkan kita....bila perasaan cinta tu timbul terhadap seseorang, semua benda akan jadi happy, mmg menjadi fitrah manusia untuk menyayangi seseorang walau berbatu jauh manapun si dia berada...bak kata orang "jauh di mata,dekat di hati"..sebenarnya, perasaan cinta kpd seseorang haruslah lahir dgn hati yg suci dan ikhlas,aliaa pernah menyintai seseorang, tetapi aliaa sedar,cinta yg kekal ialah cinta yang teragung,...semestinya cinta kepada Allah SWT.
"Siapa sahaja org di dunia ini yg kekasihnya Aku cabut nyawanya, kemudian dengan cubaan yang Aku timpakan ini dia (bersabar dan)mengharap pahalaKu, nescaya akan Aku ganti dgn Syurga. "
(Al-Hadith)
Hubungan kami hanya sekadar kawan kenalan jauh..cam kate org peN-paL la kn...dari US..Ceritanya bermula pd awal taun 2009, apabila suatu ptg dlm pukul 5.30 ptg di sebuah cyber cafe...waktu tu aku pegi teman kawan untuk siapkan assignment dia d CC..so smbil boring2 on9 kejap kat fanboX...tibe2 nampak ade sorang mamat ni sebijik mcm muke org Melayu..n mati2 ingat org Melayu tapi blajar dkt US,so kitorang pown chattt..n heran je aku die nie asyik speaking jer...bile tye2 balik rupanya..die mix filipina n mexico n beragama kristian, Rex Espinosa Lardizabal..so start drpd hari tu..kitorang mula brkawan...
Kalau nk cite dkt org kadang2 diorang x percaya ataupun mesti punye akan ckp"ala..mamat tu tipu ko jelah..ntah2 die melayu dok kat Malaysia je..." or "berhati2,org foreigner ni kite x knal hati budi,silap2 haribulan nnt die kasi dadah ke ape ke..."aku dh biase dgr org ckp cmtu..tetapi perkenalan aku dgn si dia amat istimewa..mungkin setengah org akan ckp,kenapelah naif sgt die ni...tp aku x kisah sume tu.....Kami slalu chat tentang isu semasa,maklumlah die org Amerika..so tyela keadaan di sana..chat tentang agama Islam...lebih kurang berdakwah la skit,sbb die slalu tye aku mcm2..contohnye,kenape muslimah kene pakai tudung n kenape ade yg x pakai pown?..n so on...n beberape hari lepas tu kitorang dh x contact each other..coz aku pown bZ ngan assignment n exam..biasela dh dok matrik..mmg bZ ngan study jer..n one day time cuti sem,aku sesaje on9 kejap...kebetulan si dia menegur aku n maklumkn kat aku die berada di Argentina sekarang brcuti brsama family. Aku pon trkejut sbb die masih ingat kat aku...kbetulan sewaktu di matRik..aku dh clash dgn somebody yg x berhati perut..n die slalu menasihati aku supaya jgn trlalu bersedih..tumpukan pelajaran bt mase sekarang...beberapa hari selepas itu kami sentiasa keep in touch semula....
And pada tanggal 7 March 2010,die confess sniri perasaan die..n aku terkejut dan takut sebab kami brlatarbelakang sgt berbeza..die bragama kristian n tinggal d US..sgt jauh....walaupun di awal aku ade menyimpan sedikit perasaan trhdp die..tp aku x mengharapkn ape2 pown..juz kawan baik,itu saje,...Die merayu,macam mane skalipun die nk blajar n mendalami jugak Islam supaya dpt brsama aku suatu hari nnt....n drpada situ...aku mula mengajar die segala hukum2 dlm Islam yg dilarang n yg digalakkan.....family die juz ckp"its ur choice"...die slalu ckp"America is a free country,i can decide my own life as i'm already above 18 yrs old".....dari hari ke hari die smakin bersemangat untuk mengenali Islam....n starting from the day he promise me,die dh x amik arak,n non-halal food..as he said "everything is listed already"...daripada hari aku mengajar n mencari maklumat untuk memudahkan die memahami Islam..aku mula sedar ade hikmahnya juga kpd aku kerana..aku dpt memperkayakan lagi ilmu tentang Islam..yg masih byk lagi aku x tahu sebelum ini...
Few days after that aku menerima satu e-mail daripada kakak dia kata :
Hello Aliaa
How have you been doing nowadays? How I wish you're always fine there.
Im glad that my brother find someone like you, Just want to informe you that
I have recived your mail, Anyway I won't be forwarding this to my brother
anymore they're coming back here soon.
Thanks for your mail be safe and be good, God Bless You.
Selepas menerima e-mail drpada kakak die,aku berasa sgt lega kerana menerima feedback yg positive...Dia pernah menceritakan kpd aku tentang kehidupannya sebelum mengenali aku dan Islam,hidupnya umpama tiada arah tuju dan tiada makna. He said " TQ mommy,after knowing u and Islam,I started to be grateful with my life, grateful for everything that mom and dad had given me"....
Aku still ingat,time tu,die g Manila,Filipina dgn ayah die tuk uruskan something...he told me he met someone at the hotel he stayed,a staff at the hotel,a restaurant manager...Mr. Abdul Karim Matolo...50 years above man..he ask for Mr. Matolo to help him knowing more about Islam.....aku still ingat..Mr. Matolo suruh die bace al-Quran dahulu paling kurang 6 bulan...die sangat bersungguh2 utk mendalami Islam demi aku...MasyaAllah.....
Unfortunately...here comes the sad moment utk aku dan dia....after he went bck to US from philipines for juz a day...aku terima msg from him..."Mommy i'm at the hospital rite now with dad and nicole, suddenly mom was taken into the hospital, the doctor said she juz had a few chance of survival..i'm crying rite now mommy, i donno how am i gonna live without mom....she suffered from a heart failure mommy..." Tanggal 29 April 2010, her mom, Maria Theresa Espinosa took her last breath.......pd masa yg sama,aku juga sgt sedih....
After the lost of his mom, dia starting to act weird, i mean like to b alone n always in sorrow je...he said to me..."My life is dark, mommy..."..aku cube nak give support to him....its juz that one thing,i'm worried about, aku takut klau after mak die mninggal...die dh putus harapan x nak ambil tahu pasal Islam lg....tp Alhamdulillah...he manage to move on with his life, dlm masa yg sama dia menemani kakak dia yg masih dlm kesedihan...xnak mkn,...xnak buat ape langsung...his dad is a very busy man, a business man..dont hav time for them...so dia sgt dear to kakak dia..the two siblings...
Day after day, dia smakin serius dan minat dgn Islam..dan mula berkenalan dgn org2 muslim d sekeliling neighbourhood dia ,which is in San Diego, CA. He's studying in UCLA...he told me he met a muslim friend,his name is Kareem...a caucasian guy...from that moment..dia mengambil family Kareem sebagai keluarga angkat Islam...Kareem's dad taught him many things bout Islam especially the ways to pray....every week after class..he will go to their house in LA...
One of his friend gave him a copy of the translation of the Holy Quran....he was so fascinate by the contents of the Quran...aku sgt gembira dia semakin baik dlm mengenali Islam....On the 19 of June...its the chat that i will remember for the rest of my life...we talk about everything..about our future n so on....Alhamdulillah...sewaktu chat with him,he admit that he was officially a muslim....he told me.."for me i'm officially a muslim mommy, i had spoken my shahadah in front of Kareem's family....i dont wanna tell u earlier, i juz want everything to be right at this moment...."and he told me " Mommy,i wanna come to Malaysia this September with dad and nicole to see u and ur family,ok..?"...aku sgt gembira dan terkejut d saat itu...
"I wanna wear a baju Melayu when i see u mommy.."...kami berdua sgt bahagia d saat itu....even i told my family that he's coming here....i know my parents understands me...but pd masa yg sama aku tahu mereka risau..thats what parents would feel...Actually,before aku ada hubungan serius dgn dia..aku dh inform at the first place to my parents, Alhamdulillah,ma n pa sgt memahami keadaan aku..
After the last chat on the 19th June..he told me,he's goin to his family's farm in Vera Cruz,Mexico...with his sister n his cat,Orange for relaxation to spend weekend diorang...he promised " I will text u back when i get home on Monday morning"...but after that eversince..i didnt receive any msgs or call from him at all...aku sgt risau,freakin worried......I cried to my mom...aku hanya dapat berdoa kpd Yg Maha Esa supaya diberi cahaya petunjuk atas apa yg telah berlaku sebenarnya.
Akhirnya,pd 28 hb Jun..doa aku terjawab...aku menerima an unknown call sekitar jam 11.15 pagi...it was Kareeem who called me....di hati aku mula terdetik perasaan resah dan gelisah atas apa yg mungkin akan dimaklumkn...aku mendengar dgn penuh teliti..."Fatimah....please be strong when u hear this,... rex and nicole had passed away two days ago in an accident..."...d saat itu,aku terus menjadi tidak tentu arah..aku sgt sedih sesedihnya.....pd masa yg sama seekor burung dtg mengetuk tingkap bilik aku dgn paruhnya...aku membuka tingkap tu..tetapi burung itu tidak terbang pergi ke tempat lain..burung itu hanya merenung aku dgn tajam , melihat seorang hamba Allah yg berada dalam kesedihan....fikiran aku menjadi bercelaru...seolah-olah sebahagian daripada diriku telah hilang...hanya Allah yang tahu....
Sebaik selepas berbicara dgn Kareem, aku dan ayah aku pergi untuk mencari sejambak bunga berwarna putih untuk diletakkan di masjid yg terdekat dgn rumah aku........Masih segar di ingatan aku..."Mommy..if i die pls put 3 white roses to the nearest mosque at ur house..that will be the sign of my everlasting love for u,even if i die...."......"Mommy, if Allah want us to meet, even without technology,we will surely meet,i know..I am so grateful to know u mommy..TQ to Allah..."
Mungkin Allah menemukan aku dgn dia supaya dia dpt menhembuskan nafas terakhir sbg seorang muslim...Walaupun aku masih terasa lagi kesedihan di hati...walaupun tidaklah selama mana pown mengenali tetapi aku berasa masa yg lebih kurang setahun itu amat bermakna dlm hidupku.......aku berasa sgt bersyukur dan bertuah dpt mengenali seseorang seperti dia..seorang hamba Allah yg sgt merendah diri..........Allah Maha Besar dan Maha Mengetahui...dan juga kesempatan untuk aku mengenali kakak dia....seorang yg sangat penyayang kepada adiknya....hanya Allah yg tahu..Only Allah knows....may they rest in peace...semoga roh mereka dicucuri rahmat..aminn...
His very last word to me :
" Come what may, I will always love u and be with u , till death do us apart...."
His favorite quotation (we both found this quotation on an Islamic article talking about love) :
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